...and I thank you.

I thought I was ready to sit down and write this blog, but then the tears started flowing…again.  The CasiNO Tour is over.  I know this isn’t the end, but for right now it is and it hurts.  It hurts badly.  The last two years have been something incredible that cannot be explained to anyone outside of our little circle.  I have met some of my best friends along this ride and experienced things people would only dream of.  How did I ever get soooo lucky?  I have no idea, but it has been a hell of a ride.

Back in 2008, I was just a junior in college doing college girl things.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be about to embark on a life changing journey.  When I heard these Kids were coming back, I was so excited.  I may be young, but I have been listening since I was in a high chair.  Some of my first words were New Kids on the Block references.  Sadly, I am not joking.  To say I was excited was an understatement.  I quickly learned I was the only one of my friends that was feeling this way about this news.  They weren’t into them and it looked like I’d be going alone to my one concert and TRL experience.  I was ok with that; I just needed to experience it at least once.

As fate would have it, I wouldn’t be going on this ride alone.  He sent me a friend that I am pretty sure will stick by me after this is all over.  My other New Kids half, Jessica.  I fully believe it was fate that we met and have been able to get all we have accomplished done.   God knew I wouldn’t be able to do it alone.  Meeting on a street in NYC waiting to see our favorite boy band for the 1^st time molded a bond that will never be broken.  I am happy to say when we claim an event, good things usually happen.  Jess, never go away, ok?

Jess isn’t the only one who has changed my life.  I have become a better person because of every girl (and guy) I have met on this journey.  These past two years has taught me that I can laugh to the point of tears every day, it is just about who you surround yourself with.  Luckily, I roll with a great group of girls and love them all with their same sense of inappropriate humor and a passion for having fun.  Thank you to the Wolfpack for quickly accepting my ass as one of you.  I hate you all ;) Jen…ohhhh Jen.  You are AMAZING!  Seriously, you have that dry humor that can get me out of any funk I am in.  I’m always in awe of your skills, your work is incredible and you need to work for these Kids.  Fo’ realz.  My little twinies from NorCal, you two are the cutest, most sincere woman I have ever met.  I am proud to know and love you. Let’s hangout sometime, ok? *pulls your hair*  Mel, you are one of my biggest supporters and I don’t even have words for how happy you make me.  Always on my side and ready to kick ass for people that aren’t.  Thank you Brudder, I love you.  Iggy, you need a shout out too! I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my personal ploparazzi ;)  There are tons of you out there and I am so blessed to have met, well in some cases “met”, all of you.

Now…the hardest part of all.  How do I even begin this?  I have no idea, so I am just going to let my heart do the talking.

Danny- With this CasiNO Tour you really expressed just how much this reunion has meant to you and it brought tears to my eyes every time.  Thank you for giving up time with your family for us.  However, some of my favorite parts of the concerts were seeing how proud your daughters were of their daddy when they came out on stage.  It must be amazing to share this with them.  The work you have done in your mother’s name for the Komen Foundation is beyond words.  I know your mother is looking down and is so proud of you. 

Jon- I love you for coming back.  You could have easily said you wanted no part of this and turned your back on this reunion, but you didn’t.  You showed up.  You worked hard and gave it your all.  I admire you for your courage to do this all over again.  The House of Blues concert really proved just how much you love us fans.  You looked like you were about to throw up from the pain, but there you were performing with your brothers.  It makes my heart smile every time.  That being said, your humor is another reason I love you for coming back.  You don’t say much, but when you do it is always a zinger.  Humor is the way to my heart and you definitely have a place there.

Jordan- You were my first love.  Being so little the first time around, it was more the voice than the looks, but I think that means a little more.  Family members tell me I would beam when I heard your voice and later squeal when I saw you perform.  NEVER in a million years did I ever think I’d be able to sit down and have an actual conversation with you.  Let alone entertain you with what I was saying.  By the way, I am still looking for that agent.  I’m working on becoming an actress (no…not really).  I loved seeing that goofy, yet serious side of you.  I will be forever grateful to be known as one of “JK’s Blockettes”.  Let’s vogue again sometime, ok?

Donnie- Maaaaan.  You try REALLY hard to claw your way to the number one spot in my heart.  Over the last two years you have been nothing, but generous to me.  From bus moments to little winks from the stage, everything has been amazing.  You have gone above and beyond any of my expectations.  When I tell my “non-New Kids” friends about moments we have shared and make them watch one of your movies, they are stunned at my life.  I don’t blame them!  I ask myself every day, “Did that really happen?”  It did and a simple “thank you” doesn’t seem to be enough.  Let me rephrase, it will never be enough.  You have changed my outlook on life and made me realize if I put my mind to something, I can actually get it done no matter how impossible it may seem.  That means more than any handshake, picture or hug…well maybe not the hugs.  Those are pretty fantastic and I never want those to stop.  Keep the good times coming, Wahlberg.  I’ll be there every step of the way.

Last, but certainly not least…

Joe- Where do I even begin with you?  You wrote, “I’m falling hard, knock me down with one look” and that is EXACTLY what you did.  One little look and I was yours.  Since then it’s been an incredible ride.  You are an amazing person inside and out, with a little asshole on the side.  The perfect combination in my book.  Every time I see you it brings a new memory to stash in my heart.  Picking me to break your “fan follow” hymen is something that will always plaster a smile on my face.  It was the first time in my life that I was actually speechless.  Since then you have done nothing, but surprised me.  Opening a present from me and my friends on stage in NYC?  Screaming my name every time you see me with your arms opened wide?  Remembering that I was graduating and finished my thesis?  WHAT?!  Buddy, you seriously never let me down.  The smiles, the hugs, the light in your eyes when you see me, it is too much sometimes.  Although, I am certainly not complaining ;) Thank you for taking the time to listen to my ideas when I throw them at you and actually consider them.  Thank you for going along with my inappropriate humor, because it always has me dying of laughter.  I know you love it.  You’ll probably never understand just how much you mean to me, so I just have to say thank you.  When I am having a bad day, I just need to think of the memories we have created and for that moment everything seems to be ok.  To me “the difference is you.”

PS- Thank your trainer for me.  He’s done a good job whipping your ass into shape.

After 20 New Kids shows, 2 Joe shows, 3 TV appearances, a DVD screening, a bus ride, a birthday party and so much more my world has completely changed.  I have truly grown up these past few years and have become the woman I have always wanted to be.  I’ve met wonderful people from all over the world, because one musical group has brought us together.  What other fans can say that?  Not many.  Without these 5 men from Boston who followed their dreams, none of this would ever have happened.  I am so grateful for these experiences and this little thank you is just not doing justice for what I am feeling right now.

So New Kids on the Block just remember…

I'll be counting down the days with a picture of your face in my heart….