[Again...written the day after the show]
First off, Grace wasn't even going to go to this show...again I talked her into it. Typical. I was just going to do lawn (ummm...yeah right), but we found section 100 Row C on stubhub for a decent price and knew it was destiny. Syracuse part 2 anyone?
Jess, Grace and I left for the 2 hour car ride around 11 and got there by 1:30. "The Bitch" aka the GPS decided we should take a nice tour of the ghetto before we arrived at the arena. We finally got to the arena and go to park. The lots don't open till 4pm. WTF!? We hated our lives and Jersey with every inch of our beings. So we took a ride around the block and found no where to park. Correction, we couldn't find anywhere FREE to park! As we drove passed the lot again, we suddenly saw a group of girls by a gate. We were at the light waiting for the light to change so we could make a left. Then, we see all the girls bumrush the gate. As soon as we turned my ass flew out of that car so fast! I gave a little peep show to Jess and Grace. For real...practically all ass. OOPS! IT WAS DONNIE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT GATE about 20 feet away!!!
As fate would have it there was a semi-illegal parking space right where we were. Jess parked her car, put on the hazards and then they were both right next to me. Somehow I managed my way to the gate. Remember, I am feisty. So then I see him. Donnie Wahlberg. Cholo socks and all. Everyone was again screaming "Donnie! Donnie!" No, no. He knows his name and it was hot as fuck out there, so I scream "Wahlberg, take off the Cholo socks it is hot as hell out here!" Some girls looked at me with a "how dare you insult our master" type look, while others laughed. There was no need for the socks…at all (I still don't get it...).
Finally, he came over. Earl said to make a line and I don't mess with that fool. I ended up pretty close to the front. The rule was once you got your time get the fuck out of the way so other people can get theirs. That was working fine until dumbass decided he will just walk the line (yeah...the "dumbass" would be Wahlberg). IDIOT! Now there was mass chaos. Grace had my phone ready to take a picture, but I was shut out by some girl and Earl. Twat swatters. I digress…so Grace got her 2 hugs and I am standing there giving Donnie the side eye. Finally I go to Earl, "Just one hug, turn him around one hug!" He tells me wait by the gate, he has to go back that way. Aye aye captain. I stood where I was told (see I listen to Earl, I don't play with that man) and he does come back. Goes to hug me…ohhhhh dissed for an 8 year old. I FUCKING HATE KIDS AT THESE THINGS!!! I am here to get my game on, don't foul me by bringing your kid! (I am sorry if you have brought your child to a show, but in my eyes it is mommy time.) So he took her spiral notebook, signs her shirt (a nice white shirt) and finally he gets to me. Now that I think of it I think I said "finally." Oh well. He looked right at me while going in for the hug and I said (because I am a nerd) "that's right the 1st Baby Daddy Bus girl right here" he laughed and moved on. Love him. Donnie time is not over, there is always more with Mr. Wahlberg.
Then sexy himself walks by. Mr. Jordan Knight in his manpris and all. YUM! HE FINALLY ACKNOWLEGDED MY EXISTENTS! Donnie and Jordan were headed to what we now know as going to see The Roots perform. No joke, he looked at me and waved then got into the van. They left and we were left to wait. I find a place to stalk the fence. McIntyre is in there and I need him. Need him baaaad. One of the band members, I think Chris, came out and everyone started swarming and talking to him. Rookie mistake. I just stalked the gate and before long I saw him. My Mac daddy…with Duncan. So I scream out, "JOOOOOE!!!!" Boom. Everyone drops Chris and rushes the gate. He looked back and threw a wave at us. Alright, you are hot and I love you, you can get away with it. Saw Danny walking around, he waved, I think, and did his own thing. We saw Jon having a smoke, but banshees were squealing and he started to hide. Just be calm!
Finally the van came back. I, of course have my Donnie sign out, because I was not thinking Jordan is going to read mine. Well the "Donnie seriously make out time" caught JK's eye and he turned around to keep reading as he drove by. *DEAD* He NEVER looks at me with interest. It was going to be a good day!
They tell us we need to move to the sidewalk to clear the path way for cars. FINE! So we wait…and wait. Finally more activity. Danny is getting into a van and leaving. "Danny Body Shots?" is out and ready. Mother fucker had the shades drawn on his decrepit pedophile van! (No really...that is what it looked like!) Whatever. I started joking by saying "Hey kids, you want some candy?" in a creepy voice. Then for some reason, I was saying "Step 1" in our deep Jon Knight voice and Grace added "you want some bubble yum?" This is how we amuse ourselves while waiting for our menz. Make lame ass jokes. Love it. Then an old SUV goes through the gate and I saw a blonde and joked, "this must be B." OF COURSE IT WAS!!! I bug, because I see Joe and the babe. He was a big boy now! Not the little peanut he was a few months before. He was a little Mac. LOVE IT!!! So I try and be sneaky to get a picture. I was the only one who tried. No dice, I was caught and sent back. BALLS!
Now here is the part that still makes me swoon even though it is a minor encounter. Everyone is talking and not paying attention to the inside of the gate. Me and my girls were like hawks though. I know I barely took my eyes off the gate while we were standing there. Wasn't happening! It paid off. No one was looking and there I see, again, Joe. EEEEK!!! So I start waving (we were given strict instructions not to scream or run) and leaning over. CLEARLY exposing a view down my chest. Smooth Kerri. ANYWAYYYY….he sees me waving and he THROWS A HUGE AIR KISS! At this point I am still waving, because he is still staring and NO ONE notices! NO ONE!!! Grace and Jess told me to claim that shit and proudly will. I was dead. That alone killed me.
Jordan walked by and gave a wave as he walked passed the gate. Donnie was milling around taunting us by just walking around. Danny came back, same shit as before, being a pedophile in the back with the shades drawn (I say this with love and laughter BTW). We were done. We heard muffled sound check going on and figured no more activity for the day. What do we do? Go to the car and drink of course! I asked my mama if we had any vodka in the house earlier that morning and she goes "yeah we do and do you want to bring the margarita mix too? It already has the alcohol in it" HELL.YES.I.WANT.THAT! She packed a cooler of alcohol and sent me on my merry way. Love her sometimes.
We had about 2 hours to kill. We parked in the parking lot closer to the venue ($30 later…WTF JERSEY!?!?) and get our tail-gate on. Done and done. We break open the box of margarita and start sipping. Tasted like lemonade and was delicious against the tongue. It was hot as hell, so we moved the tailgating into the air conditioned car. We were bullshitting, not doing much. Mixing water and vodka…NEVER a good idea. Tastes like SHIT! Ugh. Finally we got in line to be let in. After a half hour, the line started moving. Another 5 minutes and we were in. I handed in my book to get my voucher for the "5 brothers and a million sisters" and proceeded forward. We headed toward the bathrooms. We found a girl we knew from a board (heyyyy Robin!) and she ended up introducing us to our now good friend Chantelle! We chit chatted, but really wanted to find our seats.
::Insert side eye here::
We were fucked over by Jersey…again! Section 100, Row C, seats 15 and 16, aisle seats. We thought we were golden. THINK AGAIN! The numbers were numbered in the opposite order! We were right next to the wall, looking at…A WALL! WTF!? Grace and I were NOT happy. We are spoiled, we will be the first to admit it. Spoiled rotten even. This will not do. We weren't so far where we couldn't see anything, but we were also not in "intense eye fuck zone" which is where I NEEDED to be. Not WANTED to be, NEEDED to be! FOL! Jabbas come on and we say fuck this and go get me a soda for the vodka we snuck in. Drinking away the sorrows was was fine.
When we got back to our seats I saw one of my friends and ran over to her. She came back to my seat and asked if we are going to try and make it back for the singing in the crowd. We weren't sure if they were going to run past our side of the arena to get to the back, so we said we didn't know. We ended up doing it. We then see our other friend, Kat, that we met in Baltimore. We talked for a bit about how both our seats sucked when the lights go down. We said peace and got ready.
Snorkels were out and ready to go. We were NOT giving up on signs. They were large enough to see from where we were and I know for a FACT Joe knew what I was wearing. Only one in a Joe fedora…COME ON! We got this.
This was my first show of the summer tour, the first time I saw the intro, the first time my vajajay started speaking different languages. The beginning? *DEAD* We had to use the snorkels just to breathe at a few points. SEXY.MOTHER.FUCKERS! Jon was loving our signs all night! None were for him (except Grace's "Step ___?" sign), but he loved them. Joe finally found me and that was it. He was the creepy guy on the bus just staring. IBLYF was me and him. He sang the whole thing to me. I know it sounds cocky and you may be rolling your eyes, but I did this little pointy thing to see if it was me he was staring at and I got a smile. Grace wouln't blow up my spot, she saw it too and screamed "JOEY CREEPY MUCH!?" Clearly didn't hear her. Throughout different parts it was me and him. At one point he was looking in my direction and goes "COME ON NEW YORK!!!" Ummm we were in Jersey. I claim it! From NY, he knowssss it and loves me. During the end of 'Hanging Tough' we had a stare down and this mother fucker ends it by grabbing his package! I turn to Grace and scream "HE GRABBED HIS BALLS! HE GRABBED HIS BALLS!" He grabbed his balls after a stare down with me! EEEEK!!! I got way too excited over that, but whatever.
Obviously this was Jersey and things WOULD go wrong. It always does. Not one…but TWO power outages. Grace and I were back near Danny's spot (typical!) when the power went out and we were freaked. We really thought one of the guys got mobbed. Not afraid to say, I was shaking. Then we hear Joe come over the sound system, "YOOOOO!!! YOU WERE TOO HOT JERSEY! YOU BLEW OUT THE POWAAAHHH!!! JUST RELAX, GET ANOTHA BEEEHHHEEEE AND WE'LL BE BACK" or something to that extent. I remember the accent on "power" and "beer". You know Donnie can't be upstaged so he gets on and amps the crowd some more. He decides he's just going to come out for his 2 songs. Power went out again during CG and he starts singing "We ain't going home until they fix this shit!" to the tune of "The Roof" (you know the rest) and they fixed that shit! Right in time for our baby daddies. Joe…he was special. I loved his summer medley. I was trying to get Grace to dance to the "Popsicle," but no dice. Why were we the only ones who knew all the words to "5 Brothers and A Million Sisters"? Ain't cool. JThe rest of the show was hot and most of you know what happens...
You knowwwww I ain't done yet!
Obviously we do our bus thing. We wait…and we wait…and we wait. Ethan and Rob came on out and were hamming it up for the crowd. Rob was SO nice! Just so nice. Got a picture with him. Ethan came over asking who his twitter friends are and I whip out my phone and show him. Big hug. He messed up my hat while giving me a hug and getting ready for a picture. I had no problem telling him so. Grace proclaimed me a diva and he concurred. I redeemed myself by telling him HE was the cause of the power outage. We are now best buds. He left and we were standing there waiting. A few times I wanted to give up, but did I start walking to the car? HELL NO! Thank baby Jesus I didn't.
One word. Wahlberg. I ripped out that "Donnie seriously make out time" sign again and walked casually over to him. I stood right behind a girl and just held the sign. He saw it, moved the girl, read it while moving his lips and gave this face…like a "ohh you a naughty girl" face. I said "what the hell is that face for? It's the truth!" He looks dead ass in my eyes and says, "Is this what you want baby?" and pulls me in and kisses me!!! I am sorry, but....AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It was a lingering peck, but STILL!!! Jezzus Christ! Alcohol on the lips…delicious! I was dead…DEAD I TELL YOU!!! There was really nothing that could beat that. We watched the buses leave and saw Jordan emerge from the back of his, but I couldn't focus and we had to head back to NY.
Magical ending, but not the last time these men would see me. I still had 6 more shows to go to!
El Fin.
First off, Grace wasn't even going to go to this show...again I talked her into it. Typical. I was just going to do lawn (ummm...yeah right), but we found section 100 Row C on stubhub for a decent price and knew it was destiny. Syracuse part 2 anyone?
Jess, Grace and I left for the 2 hour car ride around 11 and got there by 1:30. "The Bitch" aka the GPS decided we should take a nice tour of the ghetto before we arrived at the arena. We finally got to the arena and go to park. The lots don't open till 4pm. WTF!? We hated our lives and Jersey with every inch of our beings. So we took a ride around the block and found no where to park. Correction, we couldn't find anywhere FREE to park! As we drove passed the lot again, we suddenly saw a group of girls by a gate. We were at the light waiting for the light to change so we could make a left. Then, we see all the girls bumrush the gate. As soon as we turned my ass flew out of that car so fast! I gave a little peep show to Jess and Grace. For real...practically all ass. OOPS! IT WAS DONNIE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT GATE about 20 feet away!!!
As fate would have it there was a semi-illegal parking space right where we were. Jess parked her car, put on the hazards and then they were both right next to me. Somehow I managed my way to the gate. Remember, I am feisty. So then I see him. Donnie Wahlberg. Cholo socks and all. Everyone was again screaming "Donnie! Donnie!" No, no. He knows his name and it was hot as fuck out there, so I scream "Wahlberg, take off the Cholo socks it is hot as hell out here!" Some girls looked at me with a "how dare you insult our master" type look, while others laughed. There was no need for the socks…at all (I still don't get it...).
Finally, he came over. Earl said to make a line and I don't mess with that fool. I ended up pretty close to the front. The rule was once you got your time get the fuck out of the way so other people can get theirs. That was working fine until dumbass decided he will just walk the line (yeah...the "dumbass" would be Wahlberg). IDIOT! Now there was mass chaos. Grace had my phone ready to take a picture, but I was shut out by some girl and Earl. Twat swatters. I digress…so Grace got her 2 hugs and I am standing there giving Donnie the side eye. Finally I go to Earl, "Just one hug, turn him around one hug!" He tells me wait by the gate, he has to go back that way. Aye aye captain. I stood where I was told (see I listen to Earl, I don't play with that man) and he does come back. Goes to hug me…ohhhhh dissed for an 8 year old. I FUCKING HATE KIDS AT THESE THINGS!!! I am here to get my game on, don't foul me by bringing your kid! (I am sorry if you have brought your child to a show, but in my eyes it is mommy time.) So he took her spiral notebook, signs her shirt (a nice white shirt) and finally he gets to me. Now that I think of it I think I said "finally." Oh well. He looked right at me while going in for the hug and I said (because I am a nerd) "that's right the 1st Baby Daddy Bus girl right here" he laughed and moved on. Love him. Donnie time is not over, there is always more with Mr. Wahlberg.
Then sexy himself walks by. Mr. Jordan Knight in his manpris and all. YUM! HE FINALLY ACKNOWLEGDED MY EXISTENTS! Donnie and Jordan were headed to what we now know as going to see The Roots perform. No joke, he looked at me and waved then got into the van. They left and we were left to wait. I find a place to stalk the fence. McIntyre is in there and I need him. Need him baaaad. One of the band members, I think Chris, came out and everyone started swarming and talking to him. Rookie mistake. I just stalked the gate and before long I saw him. My Mac daddy…with Duncan. So I scream out, "JOOOOOE!!!!" Boom. Everyone drops Chris and rushes the gate. He looked back and threw a wave at us. Alright, you are hot and I love you, you can get away with it. Saw Danny walking around, he waved, I think, and did his own thing. We saw Jon having a smoke, but banshees were squealing and he started to hide. Just be calm!
Finally the van came back. I, of course have my Donnie sign out, because I was not thinking Jordan is going to read mine. Well the "Donnie seriously make out time" caught JK's eye and he turned around to keep reading as he drove by. *DEAD* He NEVER looks at me with interest. It was going to be a good day!
They tell us we need to move to the sidewalk to clear the path way for cars. FINE! So we wait…and wait. Finally more activity. Danny is getting into a van and leaving. "Danny Body Shots?" is out and ready. Mother fucker had the shades drawn on his decrepit pedophile van! (No really...that is what it looked like!) Whatever. I started joking by saying "Hey kids, you want some candy?" in a creepy voice. Then for some reason, I was saying "Step 1" in our deep Jon Knight voice and Grace added "you want some bubble yum?" This is how we amuse ourselves while waiting for our menz. Make lame ass jokes. Love it. Then an old SUV goes through the gate and I saw a blonde and joked, "this must be B." OF COURSE IT WAS!!! I bug, because I see Joe and the babe. He was a big boy now! Not the little peanut he was a few months before. He was a little Mac. LOVE IT!!! So I try and be sneaky to get a picture. I was the only one who tried. No dice, I was caught and sent back. BALLS!
Now here is the part that still makes me swoon even though it is a minor encounter. Everyone is talking and not paying attention to the inside of the gate. Me and my girls were like hawks though. I know I barely took my eyes off the gate while we were standing there. Wasn't happening! It paid off. No one was looking and there I see, again, Joe. EEEEK!!! So I start waving (we were given strict instructions not to scream or run) and leaning over. CLEARLY exposing a view down my chest. Smooth Kerri. ANYWAYYYY….he sees me waving and he THROWS A HUGE AIR KISS! At this point I am still waving, because he is still staring and NO ONE notices! NO ONE!!! Grace and Jess told me to claim that shit and proudly will. I was dead. That alone killed me.
Jordan walked by and gave a wave as he walked passed the gate. Donnie was milling around taunting us by just walking around. Danny came back, same shit as before, being a pedophile in the back with the shades drawn (I say this with love and laughter BTW). We were done. We heard muffled sound check going on and figured no more activity for the day. What do we do? Go to the car and drink of course! I asked my mama if we had any vodka in the house earlier that morning and she goes "yeah we do and do you want to bring the margarita mix too? It already has the alcohol in it" HELL.YES.I.WANT.THAT! She packed a cooler of alcohol and sent me on my merry way. Love her sometimes.
We had about 2 hours to kill. We parked in the parking lot closer to the venue ($30 later…WTF JERSEY!?!?) and get our tail-gate on. Done and done. We break open the box of margarita and start sipping. Tasted like lemonade and was delicious against the tongue. It was hot as hell, so we moved the tailgating into the air conditioned car. We were bullshitting, not doing much. Mixing water and vodka…NEVER a good idea. Tastes like SHIT! Ugh. Finally we got in line to be let in. After a half hour, the line started moving. Another 5 minutes and we were in. I handed in my book to get my voucher for the "5 brothers and a million sisters" and proceeded forward. We headed toward the bathrooms. We found a girl we knew from a board (heyyyy Robin!) and she ended up introducing us to our now good friend Chantelle! We chit chatted, but really wanted to find our seats.
::Insert side eye here::
We were fucked over by Jersey…again! Section 100, Row C, seats 15 and 16, aisle seats. We thought we were golden. THINK AGAIN! The numbers were numbered in the opposite order! We were right next to the wall, looking at…A WALL! WTF!? Grace and I were NOT happy. We are spoiled, we will be the first to admit it. Spoiled rotten even. This will not do. We weren't so far where we couldn't see anything, but we were also not in "intense eye fuck zone" which is where I NEEDED to be. Not WANTED to be, NEEDED to be! FOL! Jabbas come on and we say fuck this and go get me a soda for the vodka we snuck in. Drinking away the sorrows was was fine.
When we got back to our seats I saw one of my friends and ran over to her. She came back to my seat and asked if we are going to try and make it back for the singing in the crowd. We weren't sure if they were going to run past our side of the arena to get to the back, so we said we didn't know. We ended up doing it. We then see our other friend, Kat, that we met in Baltimore. We talked for a bit about how both our seats sucked when the lights go down. We said peace and got ready.
Snorkels were out and ready to go. We were NOT giving up on signs. They were large enough to see from where we were and I know for a FACT Joe knew what I was wearing. Only one in a Joe fedora…COME ON! We got this.
This was my first show of the summer tour, the first time I saw the intro, the first time my vajajay started speaking different languages. The beginning? *DEAD* We had to use the snorkels just to breathe at a few points. SEXY.MOTHER.FUCKERS! Jon was loving our signs all night! None were for him (except Grace's "Step ___?" sign), but he loved them. Joe finally found me and that was it. He was the creepy guy on the bus just staring. IBLYF was me and him. He sang the whole thing to me. I know it sounds cocky and you may be rolling your eyes, but I did this little pointy thing to see if it was me he was staring at and I got a smile. Grace wouln't blow up my spot, she saw it too and screamed "JOEY CREEPY MUCH!?" Clearly didn't hear her. Throughout different parts it was me and him. At one point he was looking in my direction and goes "COME ON NEW YORK!!!" Ummm we were in Jersey. I claim it! From NY, he knowssss it and loves me. During the end of 'Hanging Tough' we had a stare down and this mother fucker ends it by grabbing his package! I turn to Grace and scream "HE GRABBED HIS BALLS! HE GRABBED HIS BALLS!" He grabbed his balls after a stare down with me! EEEEK!!! I got way too excited over that, but whatever.
Obviously this was Jersey and things WOULD go wrong. It always does. Not one…but TWO power outages. Grace and I were back near Danny's spot (typical!) when the power went out and we were freaked. We really thought one of the guys got mobbed. Not afraid to say, I was shaking. Then we hear Joe come over the sound system, "YOOOOO!!! YOU WERE TOO HOT JERSEY! YOU BLEW OUT THE POWAAAHHH!!! JUST RELAX, GET ANOTHA BEEEHHHEEEE AND WE'LL BE BACK" or something to that extent. I remember the accent on "power" and "beer". You know Donnie can't be upstaged so he gets on and amps the crowd some more. He decides he's just going to come out for his 2 songs. Power went out again during CG and he starts singing "We ain't going home until they fix this shit!" to the tune of "The Roof" (you know the rest) and they fixed that shit! Right in time for our baby daddies. Joe…he was special. I loved his summer medley. I was trying to get Grace to dance to the "Popsicle," but no dice. Why were we the only ones who knew all the words to "5 Brothers and A Million Sisters"? Ain't cool. JThe rest of the show was hot and most of you know what happens...
You knowwwww I ain't done yet!
Obviously we do our bus thing. We wait…and we wait…and we wait. Ethan and Rob came on out and were hamming it up for the crowd. Rob was SO nice! Just so nice. Got a picture with him. Ethan came over asking who his twitter friends are and I whip out my phone and show him. Big hug. He messed up my hat while giving me a hug and getting ready for a picture. I had no problem telling him so. Grace proclaimed me a diva and he concurred. I redeemed myself by telling him HE was the cause of the power outage. We are now best buds. He left and we were standing there waiting. A few times I wanted to give up, but did I start walking to the car? HELL NO! Thank baby Jesus I didn't.
One word. Wahlberg. I ripped out that "Donnie seriously make out time" sign again and walked casually over to him. I stood right behind a girl and just held the sign. He saw it, moved the girl, read it while moving his lips and gave this face…like a "ohh you a naughty girl" face. I said "what the hell is that face for? It's the truth!" He looks dead ass in my eyes and says, "Is this what you want baby?" and pulls me in and kisses me!!! I am sorry, but....AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It was a lingering peck, but STILL!!! Jezzus Christ! Alcohol on the lips…delicious! I was dead…DEAD I TELL YOU!!! There was really nothing that could beat that. We watched the buses leave and saw Jordan emerge from the back of his, but I couldn't focus and we had to head back to NY.
Magical ending, but not the last time these men would see me. I still had 6 more shows to go to!
El Fin.
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