Jess never planned on doing Scranton, but with the other girl out, she said "why the hell not?" We headed out around 10am. The car ride was ridiculous, blasting New Kids all the way. We were all nervous as to what the day had in store for us, considering we were left with NOTHING. Went from having backstage passes & close seats…to nothing! Needless to say, we were VERY worried. As we were driving down I-80 we were all silently thinking to ourselves when I said, "We got this" to the girls. There was silence and then a burst of squeals and laughter. I was driving so I didn't know what the fuck was going on in the backseat. When Anne was FINALLY able to breathe again, she was able to tell me that she JUST got finished asking God to give a sign that we got this. God spoke through me apparently…it was WEIRD!!! Set the whole mood of the trip. We got this! So...we traveled on. During this trip we definitely became Ddub's soldiers as much as I hate to admit it…we marched on.
FINALLY, we made it to Scranton. It was 1:30. We needed to MOVE if we wanted to make it to the venue at an early hour. Anne showered and dressed in literally 10 minutes. DAMN! The rest of us got ready and we were out the door. We were at the venue around 2:45 (yeah…we were on a damn MISSION!) and the guard at the gate told us we would not be let in till 4. Again…WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT!?! So we tried to find another way in. We kept driving and (get ready for it) there was a SNAKE in the middle of the road! A DAMN SNAKE!!! I am not talking a garden snake, but a large "I eat field mice" kinda snake. I am from the city, there are no snakes in the middle of the road. HELL.NO! We flipped out and kept on going. The road the venue was on? Yeah…it was a dead end. We turned around, parked on the side of the road and remembered it was NO FEE WEDNESDAY!!! We called Grace to see what she could pull up online. Sec 203 row H, from what she saw…it wasn't horrible. OHHHH and the ticket was only 375. 3 DOLLARS and 75 CENTS!!! THAT is the kind of money I like to spend on a ticket. They added 6 dollar parking to it, so it came to around 10 dollars. Done and done. We obviously needed to pick up them suckers up at will call, so we headed to the parking lot. Finally get in and park by the bus gate. We were sneaky.
Girls were lurking, but were shunned away by Earl. Who by the end of this trip hated our lives! We just hung around and saw a bus was coming. The Baby Daddy Bus. SAAAWEEEET….until it just drove by. Ouch! We did see Chance, but that was about it. We decided to go pick up our tickets. We got them. We were kinda pissed, because they were in the 200s, but they were 10 dollars…can't be THAT angry. We lurked around will call, when I overheard a discussion about how lawn seats were being upgraded into the 200s. WELL…HELLLLL NO!!! I don't need someone from the lawn getting a better seat than me. I go back to the window. I ask if that was possible and she said that we would most likely be moved to the back of the 100's section. DEAL!!!
We go back to the car, because the venue was disgusting and crawling with bugs. We were sitting in my car when all of a sudden Anne is screaming jumping out of the car! Leaving us to all scream and jump out of the damn car! Turns out she was bit by a wasp. Her boobie swelled a bit, but that's fine. Once we settled down I got a DM from Ethan to come meet him and Rob. We ran down that damn dirt road so fast (minor crush on Ethan and Rob…it's fine). When we got to the bottom, we realized he never said WHERE to meet him *smacks head* Typical. Well like Danny says "dontcha know" we see Chris walking up the way. We talk to him a bit, telling him about the snake (we were traumatized by this) and this motha asks "what kind?" HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW!?! Idiot! I coudn't deal with him. After he finished doing whatever he was doing, he ordered a hamburger at the stand that was set up. He scarfed that thing down and got another one! He just kept lurking at the food tent even though they were BBQing BY THE BUSES!!! *SMH* I still can't with him. Just can't
We finally saw Ethan and Rob and make our way over to them. Ethan was talking to someone, turns his head, spots me, says "HEYYY!!!" and comes over to us. Ethan remembered the "diva in the hat" and then proclaimed us all The Divas (Rob later stole the name and I love it...thanks Rob!). Sweet deal. We were telling them about the snake in the road (I am telling you…scared the SHIT out of us!) when Ethan goes..."A SNAKE!" in this girly voice and jumps away from the woods. He was dead serious too, no joke, he is SUCH a woman, LOVE IT! We then started to take pictures, when someone mentions a Waffle House being close by. Rob, the fatass, interrupts Jess' picture and screams "THERE'S A WAFFLE HOUSE HERE!?!?" Hands.down.hysterical. He was SO excited! I really love those guys. They are too funny and just as easy to make fun of, just like the guys are.
Me with Rob and Ethan...I love these fools.
We need a beeeha. The bugs were killing us and we needed something to drink. We saw that they were $10, that was as much as our tickets! Hell no, so I say "we will do this sober"... and we did. When we got to our seats we are SOOOOOO not satisfied. There was NO WAYYY I was sitting in those. We were 6 rows from the back of the tent…yes, they were performing in a tent. Our poor boys…performing in a tent. Anne had the cameras blocking her view and just NO, we were NOT sitting there. We will be the first to admit that we are all REALLY spolied. What about those upgrades? We went on a search.
After asking security and other people, we went to customer service. These 2 girls who looked younger than me were trying to tell us that the 100 section tickets were reserved for the people in the 200s. Ummm…is that NOT where we were sitting? We tried to explain our situation (cameras in our view) and what the girl said (upgrade) and they were having none of it. The New Yorker in me came out and I threw a bit of a tantrum. I was NOT leaving that booth until I got the 100 section seats that were sitting right in front of us. I guess it was their manager, but he called us over and asked me how many of us there were. I told him 4 and there they were in my hand. Section 103, row GG. Done and done. Gotta stand for what you want.
We went to our new seats and were still further than we would like, but we would settle. We watched the Jabbas and again I was scared. I really didn't like the masks. This one lady in a bright pink coat wasn't though! She was going to TOOOOOWN with her dance move. She was killing us. Then Jesse McCartney came on (watch this transformation to non Jesse fan to being addicted to his album). Grace and I LOOOVE the song "She's No You" and so I just kept screaming it ovaahhhh and ovaahhhh! The other 3 wanted to KILLL ME! We were over him fast.
Onto the show. EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I LOVE.LOVE.LOOOOVED this show! Everything about it! I went REALLY hard at this one. I was getting really good height when I was jumping. The girl behind me at one point said, "she is about 6-7 inches off the ground." Well isn't that something? Although, I pulled a muscle in my back that still has not healed (it took about 3 weeks for it to not hurt when I took a breath in). Woops! It worked though! I had my damn signs and was jumping like a Mexican jumping bean and got love from Donnie, Joe saw my sign from B stage and Danny. Well Danny was right in front of us for B stage. No one stood up on chairs except us, so we were practically face to face with him. I held my "Danny Body Shots?" sign and got a sexy face. Then I got what I would like to call a dramatic moment. I held up my sign intended for Donnie (he was busy, so Danny had to do) that said "Reporting for full service…commando" and he apparently LOVED it. This dude grabs himself (and I mean REALLY grabs himself) and gave me what he believes is a sexy eye fuck. It was kind of scary/kind of a turn on. I didn't know WTF to do. I then moved onto the others. "Sexify", "Stay With Me Baby"…and the "Twisted" montage...may they RIP. This was the last time I saw them perform these…so sad. I rather enjoyed the "Twisted" video, because it gave me some time to sit and breathe, but who needs that anyway? The rest of the show is kinda blurry. All I remember now is that Elijah came on the stage and thanked us...freaking ADORABLE!!! More of him later though...I sounded HORRIBLE after this show. No voice and hurt my back. All signs of a good show.
Now…onto the goods.
We were STARVING after the show. I already did the dirty work and looked up where the Waffle House was…10 minutes from arena and 10 minutes from our hotel. It was the midway point, meaning it was a sign we HAD to go! So we did. Luckily we were one of the first people to get there. Found a dirty, empty table, sat down and waited for it to be cleaned up. We needed a table for Ddub and the gang! We were talking, laughing and making fun of a girl who spelled "Wahlberg" wrong on her shirt. It read "Whalberg"...total fail. Once the food came there was no more talking, I got bacon, eggs, a waffle and grits. I needed to try grits…and was disgusted. How in the hell can Donnie be in love with them? Nasty. I digress. I was chomping on bacon and swatting moths, when Anne saw a bus coming over a hill. I heard this in my ear…"a ba…a baaa…a bus is coming!" We then flip…because a bug landed on my face! YUCKIES!!! Then everyone else flips, because they spot the bus! FOL. Terry, Anne, Jess and myself were all dyingggggg, but had to keep it calm. Armando came in to make sure we all had our cameras away, because the baby (aka Elijah) was coming in tooooo!!! EEEEEE!!! He also asked if we could clear 2 tables so he could sit. These 2 groups of girls got up, plates in hand and started eating standing up. Only for Donnie.
People went NUTS when he came in recording this shit! Done! Jason was also recording and that is the video he posted on twitter. Totally can see me by the window…orange-ish shirt. Donnie started with his song…"when I sat waffle, you say house…WAFFLE…HOUSE…WAFFLE…HOUSE…when I say grits…you say cheese! GRITS…CHEESE…GRITS…CHEESE!!!" His smile when he said, "cheese" was RIDICULOUS!!! SOOOO HUGE!!! Not only was our table the loudest, but who was the dumbass drumming with a knife and fork along to the beat? YOUUUUU guessed it!!! THIS DUMBASS!!! He turned around and smiled! Yes Donnie, I DID see that other video! After that I was still chomping on my bacon and waiting for my waffle, but knew that was gonna have to wait, because Ddub is priority! I really wanted that waffle though dammit! Only Donnie Edmond Wahlberg could take over the kitchen. Everyone was silent and I REALLYYYYY wanted that waffle, so I said "Ummmm I haven't gotten my waffle yet, so if you could help me out…just sayin"" People laughed…but bitch was SERIOUS!!! I was huuuungry!!! He recruited chefs and waitresses. There was NO way in hell I was helping out though!
At this point I REALLYYYY needed to go to the bathroom and I needed to walk right past his table to do so. I pushed through all the people, spot his table, but walk past him without a word. He was eating, can't be rude! My shirt was kinda long and I was in a rush to get back to the action, so I didn't realize that the front part of my shirt was tucked into my pants. Yes. I walked past his table, he sees me and says hello...with one side of my shirt tucked into my pants! EPIC FAIL!
After he eats, we hear squeals. He was walking through the crowd…with Elijah. He was looking at our table. He was getting closer. He STOPS at our table. Terry scoots over…he SITS at our table…WITH ELIJAH! You heard all the girls take in a breath and sigh. The best part? Elijah was hiding his face in Donnie's shoulder UNTIL he sat down with us. The kid is truly a Wahlberg. We didn't even talk to Donnie, just the baby. I said to him "Elijah, you were so good in the show tonight" and he got shy, so Donnie goes "did you hear what she said?" and he said "Thank you"…I'm done. As if I wasn't already dead, Jess goes, "yeah you were better than your daddy" and Donnie goes, with a big ass grin on his face goes, "WHAATTT!?!? HEEEY!!! You tell them that's not true!" and Elijah just goes, "Noooo!" I can't…my ovaries! He is ADORBALE! We talked about something else, but I can't remember. Then he turned to Elijah, "you wanna go back through the kitchen?" You would have thought it was Christmas the way he screamed "YEAH!" We said bye and they were off, but Donnie would be back. We were feeling bad for about .2 seconds, because he really didn't talk to anyone else. Oh well.
He came back in to take pictures with each table. I had the smart idea to have the sign "Reporting for Full Service…commando" ...along with the STILL half tucked shirt in the picture. Before we took it I kinda slapped him on the arm and said, "you have to read this before we take it", so he read (yes still moves his lips to read…yes I did stare a bit), looked me in the eye and WINKS!!! EEEE! So we took the picture. Anne is practically sucking on his nipple, he had his hand down the back of Jess' shirt and I was holding his other hand! He's a playa. It came out SOOO good!
Jess, Terry, a sexy mutha fucka, Anne and myself...oh and the sign!
Donnie yelling and cursing at me...do I mind? NOPE! (Thanks Jess for getting this!)
You can sense the madness with the Dub.
...ass shots!
a bye bye ass shot.
Well I know you are all wondering. I DID get the waffle. We
got it to go and THANK GOD we did! Shit was DELICIOUSSSS!!! First time at a Waffle House and I am
seriously thinking about traveling to the nearest one. I didn't even
use utensils! Just ate it with my hands and I am pretty sure there was
moaning. Allllllmost as good as sex…wellllllllllllllllll maybe not, but
it was still FANTASTIC!!!
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