When I officially became a Joevert...

November 7th, 2008- Atlantic City...Borgata

Jess and I got to the Borgata around 8am, yes earlier than the norm of 9am…Go big or go home right? We are walking to where we need to go (we scoped it out the night before) and we see Zach waiting to check in. Now mind you we have more scarves for Joe, because boy is allergic to wool and Griffin because he is just adorable (plus matching scarves? Too cute)! We wait for him to finish his business and we politely go over to him and ask if he could give the scarves to Joe for us. He said no problem and that he loved his! He was going the same way we were going to it kinda looked like we were following him, but we were on a damn mission.

We get to the area where we were told to go and to our surprise we are the THIRD group there…no problem though because it was a lovely mother daughter pair that we incorporated into our journey and this big 50 year old child molester look alike that smelled of BO…I dubbed him the Creep. He was so nasty girls, but more on him later (yes this girl threw downnnnn).

We are standing around talking to the mother and daughter (girl was only 13 btw) and who walks by? Barrett, the nanny, and baby Griffin!!! We yelled the norm "did you like our scarves?" She was so sweet, she came over and was like "Yesss! Griff was rockin his yesterday; Joe loves to put it on him." Now is the time I start to get chest pains that will eventually lead to my death. We chatted for a bit, but she needed to take a walk because apparently Griffin had a bad night on the bus and she was exhausted.

As more people showed up it is just natural to start a line…not at the Borgata!!! They think lines cause too much chaos. I do not understand that at all, but whatever. I just lurked around and finally asked when they were giving the wristbands out. They said 4 o'clock, well I guess their watches and clocks are off, because I just so happen to be walking back when I see this guy holding wristbands…at 1:45pm!!! Are they crazy?! It was obviously a mad rush, but the guy knew my group was there early so he hooked us up first. Women are animals and I will never do another GA for New Kids, well maybe (Side comment: HAHAHA!!! Good one...hello HOB). They kept telling us different times to come back, starting at 5 then eventually told us 6. Again they must be working in their own time zone, because they lined the people with wristbands up at 3:15! Who was first in line? This girl right here. People thought I was playing when I said I was going to get first in line, I say to them…GOOD ONE! The girls I made friends with all locked arms and were ready for a fight. We had it on lockkkkk! Even though I had the creep breathing down my neck, literally, his nasty sour milk breath all up on my neck. I turned around and told him to "back the fuck up now, you are a creepy perve and needs to stop being up in everyone's business." He said sorry and my response was, "Yeah well you have been doing it all damn day, so I really don't think you are that sorry". Meanwhile I learned later he pushed ladies TO THE FLOOR to get a spot at the front of the line, like I said…gross.

After waiting in that tiny little line, we were sent to a hallway that lead to the arena, everyone thought we were getting in first…nope! Obviously the ILAA people go first, but let them. An hour and a half passes in that line, it is now about 5:30-6 and they told us we were going in at 5:30, so we were getting antsy, but they bring up ANOTHER LINE!!! Now don't get me wrong, I didn't mind they brought another line in, but stop lying about times please. Now this new line comes in and disturbs our peaceful little unity we have made over the last hour by cursing and complaining that we were there. I stayed out of it, because I needed my energy. They kept going back and forth about how to let us in. Is it really that hard? The line that was there first goes in first, right? Wrong, according to the Borgata! They decided it would be better if they just open one door and let us bum rush it. That creep I was telling you about? Yeaaa he leaped over girls and was pushing them down again. I did not take this lightly, because one of the girls was the 13 year old. Really? You are a 50 year old man, go watch some sports. I pulled that guys shirt and started yelling for security and I ripped his NKOTB shirt (oh yea did I mention that before? Yes he had his own NKOTB shirt…creeeeeepyyyy!!!) With all that he STILL got in! Whatever…on to the spot I got.

I am still creaming myself over my spot. If you are facing the stage I was on the right, veryyyy close to the section that juts out. I was shaking sooo bad, I was getting chest pains and needed antacid or something, because I just couldn't deal. Lady Gaga…HORRIBLE! Although her dancers are smoking! I kept yelling "GET IT BOYYYY!!!!" and he heard it every time, because everyone was quiet. I got some laughs and then I yelled "Oh just wait till New Kids people!" Natasha was alright, I was just ready for the boys to drip sweat and spit on me…BRING IT!

On to the boys…HOLY SHITTTTTT LADIES!!! I lost my panties during "Single" and had an orgasm when Joey eye fucked the shit out of me during "Please Don't Go Girl". It felt like 5 minutes. I was singing to him and he was singing to me and we were the only people in the room. He did this about 3 times and found me all the time.  When I tell you he stared me down, I mean I felt it through my body down to my feet.  Even Jess got mess up from it.  It was HOT!!! I can still feel his eyes piercing mine. *shiver*

Joey eye sexin' me up (1:28-1:34):

Jordan…ohhhh sweet Jordan. He was goofy as all hell last night. He was doing these weird faces, so when I saw him doing one I would mimic him and he caught me! He started laughing and pointed at me. He came over and found me a lot and eye sexed me too! I couldn't deal at this point, I just couldn't. He saw me turn into Donnie during the "Games" rap and loved it!

Danny was soooo good looking. My friend and I tried to start a 'Betty' chant, but everyone was being duds. Jonnie Jonnie, Jonnie, he is just adorable and that blog ain't lyin'. That man was exhausted! He messed up a couple of times and he is just too cute! Jess and I made this flag for him and he LOVED IT!!!! He mouthed to us, "I want that!" What is on it you ask? We found 2 different John Deer fabrics and sewed them together and in the middle it says "JON 43 KNIGHT" On to the D Man, I can not tell you what it was like to feel that mans sweat fall on your face. Some think it is disgusting, but I really find it so sexy. Some girl threw a small bra on stage and it landed right in front of where we were, so he picks it up and Jess just starts screaming, "MINE'S ARE BIGGER!!!" over and over and jumping up and down (she is 5'11", can miss her) and Donnie says "Yes they are" and shakes his head up and down. I swear the girl was going to have a stroke right there. She had to turn away from the stage for a second, because she couldn't handle it. I swear I love these men. The show was awesomeeeee!!! They rocked that shit, I loved it.

At the mixx…

It was fucking intense. I am not a big club person, I would rather chill in a bar any day, but I would go for my boys. It was kinda lame, because there was no way to get near the guys unless you were a contest winner and when were they having that contest? Lady Gaga likes to follow me and Donnie introduced her for 2 songs. I went ape shit anyway. I look up and Joe and Jordan were leaning over the railing above my booth and watching her. At one point I caught Jordan's eye, I proceeded to give him a big ass smile (a pretty one of course) and a wave then keep dancing. When I was done, I had both Jordan AND Joe staring at me! ME! I did the same thing again and this time they both waved back, A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. I didn't see Donnie much, because he was probably with the ladies. Which was fine, because I knew my time would come. We left a little after the guys left and just walked around the Borgata, it was about 3am.

We decided to head back to our hotel and on our way a girl we met called me to tell me Donnie was playing blackjack or some shit. We were just puling up to our hotel and had the cab driver bring us back…woops! So we run to where she said to meet her and I see him. I swear I heard "Dreamweaver", he is one sexy man. He signed some CDs and then he sees me and my friend. We of course yell, "do you like our scarf we made you?" and he just starts screaming at Jess and the top of his lungs, "I LOVE YOU! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" over and over. She starts yelling it back and I try to calm her down, so security won't get too mad and then I hear it. "Hey girl, GIIIRRRRLLL!" So I look at him, "Yes you, I want a kiss from you!!!!" OK! He tells me to stand on this planter full of water and a security guard comes over and grabs my foot and says "NO!", I raise my eyebrows at Donnie and blow him a kiss. He ain't having that. He tells me to go up the ramp and the security guard jumps in front of me and he says "I don't think so!" and I start pleading with him that it is Donnie Wahlberg calling me in for a kiss, I would be right back down. The guy would not budge, so I break down in tears, legit sobbing tears…in the middle of the casino. Embarrassing? Not so much, I was devastated. Every girl around me was fighting the security guard for me in my honor, because I was a big clump on the floor sobbing while Jess was like "DONNIEEE!!! Pleaseee my friend is having an anxiety attack, please!!! Roboooo!!!" No Robo comes down and these 3 other girls go up. THREEEEEE other girls who just strolled on up. I start sobbing harder, people are looking, snot is flowing, I don't even care. So I thought I missed my chance. We went back to sit where they would have to go in to get to their rooms and we have the idea to just wait it out till they left in the morning.

We went back to our hotel and checked out, then went back to the Borgata. We waited till 9am. I was up for about 22 hours and standing for most of them and wearing a "Beat LA" hat. That's right, I know how to play the game ladies. Donnie is first to come out and I just say to him, "Donnie, I missed my kiss last night, we need to make it up" he holds out his hand and says "come with me girl." He holds my hand with his left and rubs and holds my back with the other (still walking to the bus btw) then he stops leans close to me, rubs his hand up my back, pulls on my hair a bit and kisses me. I still do not know how I am still standing.  I know the title of this blog is "when I officially became a Joevert...", so I will tell you the eyesex with Joe messes me up MORE than the kiss from Donnie.  THAT is how you know you've converted.  When one look can take your mind away from a kiss.   Danny came out, took a few pictures with other girls and was on his way. I held the door for him and he said "thanks sweetheart" told him to have a good show tonight. He said quick thanks and my Tour de New Kids was ovaaa like that.

Grown Man...

Donnie's Ass Shake...