Coming Home: A Movie Date with 5 Hot Men.

January 22nd, 2010 WAS an ordinary Friday afternoon, until mass chaos in the Blockhead community ensued.  What were the top 3 cities that won the screening with the New Kids on the Block?  All 5 guys coming to 3 towns and premiering their new DVD.  WHAT!?!?! I knew the New York Metro area was at the top of the list, but I figured it was going to be in the city and didn’t get my hopes up about it.  Then I got a text from my friend Jen.  “Westbury, Long Island won!!!” ………….WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?! That shit is 10 mother fucking minutes from my house!!!! THAT IS THE MOVIE THEATER I GO TO ON THE NORM!!!  Are they serious right now? (Side note: this movie theater is quite gross. I went to see “This Is It” there and there was a mouse in the theater. I was about to watch the movie with Ben, but I bolted. I don’t do vermon.)  I immediately sent in my email and realized…oh fuck me.  I forgot my birthday.  I thought I was disqualified, so I continued on with my weekend trying not to think about how I royally screwed up.  Whatever, I would have to go to the theater anyway.  I WOULD be there.  There was no way I wouldn’t be there.


Sunday brought along people winning for the Westbury screening and it broke my heart, but I thought to myself “Kerri…they will be 10 minutes away. Shut the hell up…you GOT THISSSS!!” I had dinner with a few of my fellow blockhead and considering at that point none of us had a ticket, we’d still be there.  Monday came and I needed to get ready for my first day of classes.  Ummmm…sure.  I went to lunch with pals from said class when we got a phone call saying the school had no power and class was canceled.  It was a blessing from God.  


I came home from lunch and was just lounging where else? On twitter.  I was having a conversation about the said invites.  I wrote a tweet to @NKOTB basically saying I forgot my phone number, but really hoped it didn’t disqualify me.  Not even 5 minutes later, my email alert on my phone went off.  Now all day I was getting “CONGRATS!!! YOU’VE WON….A NEW CAR, COMPUTER, TICKETS TO JAY-Z!!!” emails and I was done with them.  I checked it and my heart fell out of my ass.  I began to shake and scream, “NO MOTHER FUCKING WAY! NOOOO WAY!!!” I got a ticket to the screening!  I was officially in and dying.  I sent a tweet that made no damn sense and started to tear and shake.  Imagine if my class wasn’t canceled?  I’d be a hot mess in class and that is something I didn’t need on the first day.  I called Jess where we flipped out together and she told me to “take a minute” like she usually does.  Now, we needed her in.  There was no way I was doing this alone.  


I WAS in class on Tuesday night though.  Jess and I were BBMing and talking about nothing.  I stopped looking at my phone and paid attention for a while and when I looked back at my phone I saw a BBM that I wouldn’t be alone in the screening.  JESS GOT A TICKET TOOOOO!!! YESSSS.  We needed 2 more.  The 2 Sara(h)s.  Eventually Sarah got one, but Iggy needed one…she never got one.  However, I never give up hope and KNEW we would all be in there.  Just knew it.


On the confirmation it said no line ups till 5.  However, blockheads don’t listen to that.  I knew this, but I also knew the attitude of the theater.  We needed a plan.  Jess and I planned to get to the theater around 11.  Jess ended up getting there earlier and talked to some people inside.  They knew nothing…as usual.  When I got there, I asked the girl in customer service and she said absolutely no line ups.  We decided we’d buy tickets to The Lovely Bones at 2:40.  When we were buying our tickets we were talking to the guy selling them & he was telling us how he wasn’t afraid to mace a woman.  Well DAMN!  I thought it was hilarious, but I think he was a little serious.  


We decided to sit inside, because really what did we have to lose?  Where people usually sit to wait for a movie just happened to be in the barricades of where we were going to line up.  Employees kept coming up to us saying we couldn’t line up, but we showed them our tickets and said we were waiting for our movie.  They couldn’t say anything, because we were paying customers.  It was a long day and more people kept coming (obviously), but we all agreed to keep a “non-line” and remember who was in front of whom.  It was very organized, till about 4 o’clock.  No one was being orderly anymore and people were just milling around.  If they kicked us out, I was refusing to leave.  I didn’t sit calmly waiting for my “movie” all day to get kicked out.  Nope.  Finally they told us to just line up.  Front of the line mothaaaaa fuckaaaaas! Now some may say that was a bitchy thing to do, but all in all anyone could have done what I did.  In fact, some DID do what I did.


We waited in our official line for another 2-3 hours.  It was a loooong wait as usual, because in typical fashion, they were behind.  Good LORD was I exhausted.  Johnny was running around and we saw Armando.  My stomach started to flip, but it was more worry.  My girls and I were praying they would let us in before the guys showed face.  We knew it would cause pure chaos if they did it any other way.  That was something I didn’t want to be apart of, noooo thank you.  I went to the bathroom at some point and heard a few girls talking.  One of them said, “of COURSE she is at the front of the line” and her friend asked, “who?” and then I hear it…”that macpack410!”  Welllllllll noooo shiiiit. I timed it perfectly, so when they left their stalls I left mine.  I smiled politely and just said “enjoy the screening!” and went to wash my hands.  I was a little pissed.  Why did it have to be “of course” I was at the front of the line?  Still don’t get it.  Whatever.  I went back to my pals and the Newsday reporter.  He was filming us practically the whole time and I was mortified to find out I made the final cut.  Way to zoom in on my face cameraman.  Jess said it was so close she could see my blood vessels.  FML.


Even though we were first in line, there were VIPs and other people that were let in first.  Boo.  I asked Johnny straight up if they were taking the good seats and he assured us all the good seats were open and we'd have no problems.  I warned him I'd bust his kneecaps if he was lying...I wasn't joking either.  FINALLYYYYY after a long long loooong wait, we were let inside.  As we walked down the aisle we past Johnny.  This idiot gave us all high fives and said “FRONT ROWWW!” to each of us.  I can’t with him.  He was way excited for us, I loved it.  We got the very front, dead center.  I sat down and stared at the 5 chairs that were in front of us.  Were they really going to be THAT close just shooting the shit?  I’ve done the one on one thing before, but have ALL FIVE right there?!  *SQUEEEE*  Not to mention watching their faces being all big and I would be RIGHT THERE for it.  It was a lot to take in.  Then we heard it…


The screams.  I turn around and look up.  Some dumbass was hanging out of the projection room.  Oh.  That dumbass was Mr. Wahlberg.  Can he just go get ready so we could start the damn movie?  Jess and I screamed at him to just go get ready, but then Jon came hanging out too and we were all screaming something along the lines of, “ohhhh Jon you are one SEXY mutha fucka!”  Couldn’t help it.  He looked good.


It took a while for everyone to get seated.  All I know about waitlisters is my girl Sara got in, but we didn’t have enough seats with us like we were supposed to.  It sucks too, because she was there before a few people that were in our row.  I digress.  We had to wait for the guidelines and prizes to be announced and then it was time.


The room darkened and the hard fist pumpin’ beat that is now stuck in “EVERYBODY“-s head started to play.  Screams filled the room and I felt bad for the theaters full of people actually trying to watch movies.  It was loud and ridiculously hilarious.  I saw Jordan first.  He was pumpin’ mad hard!  I swear he tripped a bit.  I was cracking up and bringing out the Long Island girl in me when I saw him.  Joe.  He was wearing that sexy leather jacket.  I said a silent prayer and got ready.  He was the first one into their little area with the seats.  He was hugging and being adorable.  Donnie came in next and made a bee line for Jess and I.  He gave us a big group hug.  *sigh*  Love him, but I was getting anxious.  Joe was getting closer, so I slipped out of Donnie’s grasp and let Jess have her moment.  At that moment, Joe looked at me and just screamed “BABYYYYY!!!!” with open arms.  I leaned right in and held on tight.  He rocked me back and forth for a while and I started to pull away, but he grabbed tighter.  I did in fact put my pelvis into it and was flush against this man’s body.  It was good.  Real good.  He held my hand, squeezed and walked away.  Wow. Just…wow.  Did he just call me baby and hold his arms open for me?  *eyes bugging out* WHAAAA?!?!  I also got a Danny hug, a wink/smile combo from Jordan, and a wave from Jon.  I needed a break.  I wasn’t going to make it through!  D-Muscle said a few words and then the boys fist pumped it to their seats in the back.

The group hug! Me, Donnie & Jess. *sigh*

Jordan was beatboxing & the guys were laughing at him.

No zoom.

As usual, biting his nails.

I love his faces.

The Position and D-Muscle.

We watched the DVD and it was one of the most surreal things I have ever experienced.  Were these guys REALLY in the same theater as me?  Really?  Since we were front row, we didn’t want to start the dancing, buttttt once we looked back and saw people were up…we had no choice.  It was weird.  Usually they were in front of me as I danced my ass off to their songs and now they were behind me.  It freaked me out and I got a little self conscious, but I easily said “fuck it” and danced like I usually do.  Also, you guys read my tweets during the Backrub, well it was 10Xs worse during the DVD.  It was hot and the comments were rolling.  I was falling out of my seat and my feet might have flew up into the air.  I just couldn’t control myself.  I won’t talk anymore about the DVD, because that wouldn’t be fair, but y’all are going to love it.  Moving on…


They came back down for the Q&A.  Eeeek.  Joe was the first into the area again…and he didn‘t have his sunglasses on.  He stood right in front of me.  Not talking, but just standing right out of arms reach.  Just staring at me.  Ummm…ok?  I had the shirt I caught at his New York show with me and wanted him to sign it.  I yelled, “Joe…JOE! Stop being a creep and come here!”  He walked on over laughing.  I showed him the shirt and just said “soooo I caught this at the New York show…” and he cut me off by laughing real loud and said “that was YOU, huh?!” I just laughed and said, “did you expect anything less? You stood right in front of me!” and then Jesss blew up my spot by saying, “yeah she almost took out eyes doing it too!” (sorry Kelly!)  That caused a giggle out of both of us and then I asked if he could sign it.  He agreed and had a little bit of trouble signing it.  He said “stretching it out helps a bit” to which I had a smartass comment and he said “hey…watch it!” or something to that effect.  We had a lovely conversation that sealed my doubts that he loves me.  Thank you Joe.  You’re my favorite.

Signing the shirt...he was impressed I caught it.

This picture warms my heart.

"Sometimes it's easier if you stretch it out."

Still having problems.

Talking about following me...love him.

Joe & his MacPack.

Thank you for these Aimee!

Explaining some nonsense.

Everyone settled into their seats for the Q&A and I started to freak a bit.  They were CLOSE.  I went down the line and just looked at each one of them taking the moment in.  When I got to Joe…he was staring.  Oh hey McIntyre, stop creeping me.  Who am I kidding?  Creep me all you want!  Now, the Q&A was HILARIOUS!  The questions were good, but the banter between was dirty and I loved every minute of it.  Joe cursed many a times and I fell out after every one.  Since he was so close, I had to sit on my hands and dig my nails into my legs.  It is THAT much of a turn on.  Donnie proclaimed himself a “Jon Girl” and everyone screamed.  He said a few words about Jon and Joe had commentary.  He didn’t say it into the mic, but he turned to Jordan and goes something to the effect of, “this week on ‘As the World Turns’…Donnie Wahlberg and Jonathan Knight have a love affair.”  It was hilarious, I think I was the only one who heard, because Jordan and I laughed.  I guess Joe heard me, because he turned to me and winked.  Fuck me, I was now happy I was creeping into their conversation!

My view. No zoom. Hey Joe!

I think I had the best seat in the house.

One of my favorite parts was when a girl Stacey asked a question.  Joe asked her name, she announced it, he repeated it and she said, “my name in your mouth *sigh*”  I fell the hell out.  That would SOOOO be something I would say.  I love that girl, it was hilarious.  Joe made a comment about really being on Long Island now.  Ummmm…does that explain my mouth?  As usual these guys had me laughing my ass off and I loved being so close, because you could hear what they said to each other if you really listened.  One girl got up to ask Jordan a question and he says “fuuuuuuck….” really low.  Again, causing me to bust out laughing and say “man up Jordan” and I got a little smile.  I can’t with these guys.  The most talked about question was the girl who tried to harass Joe about being an ass to her outside of ‘Tick Tick Boom’ so many moons ago.  When she said it was outside of that play, he was honestly very happy that she went to see him, not once…but 5 times!  His eyes lit up, but she was on a mission to have words with him.  It went like this, Joe talked to her and her boyfriend, signed a FEW items and agreed to take a picture.  While taking the picture, she was nervous so she was shaking and the camera wasn’t working.  Well in true McIntyre fashion, Joe screamed “take the mother fucking picture already!” and that’s what she was upset about.  First, if he ever said that to me, he’d be raped in the street.  That is sexy, especially with his accent?  Yeah, it would be on.  Second, you could tell he was a little pissed (as was I).  He went on to make sure he had the story right, “so I signed a picture and a baseball, had a conversation and I’M the asshole…ok.”  She had no comeback and then started talking to Donnie and Danny.  Jess and I just looked at each other like “this bitch…” and started laughing.  It was a hot mess!  So many sarcastic remarks were being thrown out by all the guys during different questions.  Someone called Joe “fabulous,” so Jess and I did a little finger snap and said “fabulous” in an ultra feminine tone.  Jon giggled at us!  We died a little.  After that night, I loved them a little more.  It was such a special and rare opportunity and I was thrilled to be apart of it and even more thrilled that it was in the movie theater I regularly attend.  It will never be the same.

After the Q&A, people began to rush their section and it got hectic.  I got another Joe hug and we talked for about .2 seconds.  Donnie came back over, hugging Jess and saying “I love you” (which she was too messed up to remember) and then he turned to me and said the same thing.  I love you too Donnie.  My next mission was Mr. Jordan Knight.  I got his attention and just said “do you not remember our vogueing session?” and he studied my face, and said “ohhhh in Memphis!”  I wanted to hit him, it wasn‘t like we just took the picture and left.  The details of that night should have confirmed he did remember me, but I said “ummm…noooo….” and then he remembered.  “OHHHH!!!! RIGHT HERE!!!” and he gave me a really big hug.  That man…he gets distracted way too easily.  Freaking idiot, but he is pretty, so it is ok.  After that, I sat back down.  We were all in awe and shock that that event just happened and we all were just apart of it.


After we composed ourselves, we walked out into the hallway and spotted who else?  Rob Lewis.  YESSSS!!! Jess and I made a bee line for him.  He was talking, so we waited and then it was our turn.  He busted our balls about having to drive to New Hampshire, a la our conversation at the Joe Show in Boston.  Freaking jerk.  Then I told him he was on my stomping grounds, so he better watch out.  We also pointed out, a cheesecake factory was right next door, easily accessible for our cheesecake date we were promised.  This man starts talking about how he had to take the Long Island Railroad and it was too far.  Really Rob?  It is a 40 minute train ride.  Who is making excuses now?  I love that man, freaking special.  Johnny was there too, taking care of some drama.  After a list was going around of people he should follow.  He had to get going, but I was still writing our names down.  He was screaming, “give me the fahking papah!”  So I handed him the paper and screamed, “fuck youuuuu Johnny!” in a really heavy Long Island/Brooklyn accent.  He cracked the hell up.  I love that freak.  Then of course, I had to get him to say “carve the pumpkin” as I usually do.  Looooove it.  He really is the 6th New Kid.


All in all it was worth the wait, as usual.  What other band does all these little events for their fans?  None.  My parents, friends and especially bank account all hate my life for all the trips I have been on, but they make me happy.  This will always hold a special place in my heart though, because they did come to MY home.  So thank you Jordan, Joe, Jonathan, Danny and Donnie for coming home, I will never forget it.